QUEEN OF THE KINGS

This is accurate as of this moment

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 17:15:37 +0800

and I know this will very soon pass but a bad day here can make you feel like you’ve a lousy job.

I had a feeling I could be someone

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 15:08:00 +0800

and I’m right.

Work has been sailing a lot more smoothly for the last 3 months. It was my Pre-Fall buy in January that finally made me feel like I’m worthy of this job, especially after the at-two-points-disastrous September trip. (It was the M.K. buy and I went in overwhelmed and I was a mess right down to my stationery.) In January I was a lot more calmer and I did my work more purposefully because I was guided by knowledge and sale experience, having spent some time on the selling floor.

In Feb/March, I had to go full throttle as it was the main collections buy and my investment in an iPad mini paid off. Gone were the days I clumsily reached for scattered sheets of paper, looking for figures or scanning for addresses and phone numbers. With the iPad mini, I was able to do all of that elegantly which bought me confidence from the people I was dealing with. I truly understand the matter of presentation.

The best part was how easy recapping became. I was able to find out how I had done the last season to determine, more accurately, how I will go. It made the process comfortable for me, the still needy buyer. I needed something tangible to guide me during the buy. (It doesn’t mean an article of clothing will stay by my side for the whole duration of the buy. Sometime it gets borrowed. Sometimes it’s confused with another item of a similar shape or different fabric. With the iPad mini, I could go through my selection elegantly and quite dignified too, may I add?) It meant I need not kept getting off my seat to physically look for an article or request the seller to show it to me for the upteempth time.

It also made post-discussions a lot easier. For me to raise issues with my team or boss. I seriously love my iPad mini. It’s really given me so much. Most recently through this tablet, I found inexpensive ways to sustain my reading desires, with 4 titles currently on annual subscription: GQ US, British Vogue, Nat Geo and Attitude. I’m toying with idea of getting NY Times as there’s a 99 cent for first four weeks promo. The subscription resumes at US$5 per week. Decisions, decisions.

I’ve gotten over buying insecurities, well not all of it, but I’m no longer afraid. Some buys are still very challenging. I, however, knows it’s a matter of time and experience, not being unqualified. I’m now sharpening myself for other issues. Staffing. Getting my team to be on my side. Convincing them (both consumers and colleagues) of what I bought. Convincing the marketers of my store’s direction. It’s such a wide-scoped job that it’s not necessarily enough to just be a good buyer. It’s challenging and I really wish to excel for the long term. It’s very interesting to note that I also feel that my people skills have improved. In both confidence and approach.

I’m blessed I’m able to turn what I just bought into editorial content rather quickly, determine how consumers should read about or look at it. Tommy pointed out that O.K. said I come from an advantageous point of view because I came from an editorial background on clothes, it makes how I approach and think of it unique. I just hope that doesn’t mean I lose commercial knack. At the end of this very long, sometimes glamourous, sometimes tired, sometimes wtf line is the question of, “Did you sell?” If you did, this line may continue. If you didn’t… that’s a story for some other day.

There's a part of me

Tue, 11 Dec 2012 23:31:00 +0800

that’s quietly indignant about these events. These events I say, as if they are foreign and not part of me. But the truth is, it has everything to do with me. It’s the very thing that keeps me up at night. Not one for feeling like I got the weaker hand, I tell myself that if all fails,” I can always go back to writing”. I hate feeling outwitted. I remind myself what I used to do often because I worry I’d be left with nothing when this is taken away from me. I grow so worried I become disdainful towards the matter instead of doing my best. It’s wrong and unacceptable and I’ve no idea how to right it.

The pursuit of newness

Thu, 06 Dec 2012 11:55:00 +0800

is one shared by many. When I was writing, it was the first thing I searched for. What’s new in this collection? What’s the design philosophy? What’s the inspiration? I know a lot of people only cared if a garment would look good on them but I come from a school of thought where I’m genuinely interested in a garment’s back story. Is it a re-edition? “This blue was the colour of the sky when we decided to do an oceanic story.” “The jeans follow spring’s attitude but dyed in a shade more suitable for fall.” I like to know all these kind of stories and details. They interest me immensely. Obviously I know a lot of them is also fodder, created by spin doctors and a clever PR team - I’ve created similar in my job before but I remembered doing it hoping to add value for the wearer. I hope the woman will smile when she knows that the piece she puts on was designed in the image of a brilliant dusk.

As a women’s fashion buyer, I have to programme myself differently. Coming from a editorial background and still thinking in words and sentences, I get intimidated when images are not captioned, imageries left on their own and one after another, they fly at you without narrative. So now I create the story in my head, whether it makes sense or is valid, doesn’t matter. It’s how I connect with the clothes.

I view a collection like I’m an editor screening it for the magazine. Then I ask myself what I possibly find interesting because of reasons I’ve stated above, pull them into a rack and go back to the classics I know women are always looking for. That’s the only way I know how to put together a good rack of clothes. What’s new and what women will eventually want to wear.

Autumn/Winter 2013 starts in Feb. I’m nervous, again.

Video

Sun, 02 Dec 2012 01:14:35 +0800

I wanted to go somewhere I've never been this year

Wed, 14 Nov 2012 22:26:00 +0800

and I think did rather well. (I didn’t visit any new city last year.)

I did Hong Kong, Bandung, London, Paris, Langkawi, Milan, Paris, Bali, New York, Milan and Paris, of which HK, Bandung and NY were first visits.

Highlights? HK & NY. My Chinese and angmoh Manhattan.

I will end the year with two more trips to Siem Reap and Bali. Like Kenneth said, for a broke girl, I sure get around okay.

*smiles*

I'm reading

Mon, 22 Oct 2012 16:50:00 +0800

a friend’s friend’s blog, following her accounts of design, copywriting, and other creative work. I most certainly miss being in a creative environment. Do I already wish to go back? Yes and a tiny part inside me questions how good I was. The odd copies I wrote, which I thought were interesting, weren’t particularly original. The occasional design input I offered… honestly, come with subscriptions to a few design blogs. What was my edge?

I've been feeling more

Thu, 11 Oct 2012 17:57:00 +0800

low and discouraged than high and satisfied since moving into the new job. Yes, the travels are great but that’s it. I feel really troubled :(

I'm on a natural high

Mon, 10 Sep 2012 17:15:03 +0800

and I like it this way. I realise this tumblr has been a collection of my sorrows and upsets so I thought I’d break that habit to record something joyous and wonderful.

1. NYC this Friday.

2. He texted me to update me of his whereabouts and I didn’t mind he took so long. It just felt ordinary.

Now back to preparing to be majorly challenged and tested for this upcoming 3-week buy trip.

He did

Tue, 04 Sep 2012 23:12:56 +0800

come back with a few short messages. It wasn’t quite as dramatically heartbreaking or cold as I had played it. I, in return, returned him with short, terse messages to conceal any good feeling. Then it just went cold - again. Where did it all go?

How is it

Sun, 02 Sep 2012 22:34:22 +0800

possible that The Book of Mormon is completely sold-out or costs at least USD$300 per ticket?

I never knew Broadway shows sell like Madonna’s concert.

I have an extremely unhealthy coping mechanism

Thu, 30 Aug 2012 14:03:00 +0800

of dealing with people I can’t bear to hear from or am reluctant to speak to. I delete their phone numbers and all contact information from my phone.

This creates that immediate impossibility to contact, leaving me isolated with just my thoughts. Of course, I do it with a whole heart that the person would contact me first but as the days pass, and neither party tries hard, whatever feeling or memory, that was created or had lingered, also passes.

I’m not proud of this.

I want to escape

Mon, 27 Aug 2012 11:40:30 +0800

the questions in my office about how Bali was. I really wasn’t trying to get an effect by posting those photographs on Instagram. I was just trying to record a moment that I felt genuinely pleased. The moment has passed and so have many other things and feelings.

I'm trying to

Tue, 31 Jul 2012 23:39:00 +0800

not think, not expect, not be stupid, not interfere, not dwell, not anticipate, not go out of the way, not be too eager, not feel… I’m trying hard to not try at all.

This is frustrating. I’m so bad at this.

As long as

Mon, 30 Jul 2012 12:38:00 +0800

we are on the subject of men, optimism has never worked for me. In every other department - career, family, friends - if I believed in it, willed it, gave my heart to it, it usually comes through, and even if it didn’t happen the way I envisioned, some kind of goodness always comes out of it.

But men or love is so difficult to grasp. It’s not something you can will to happen. Not for me at least. Unfortunately (or fortunately?), I’m a firm believer of putting forth action for the things I want. Whether it was a car, a holiday, time with family or friends, I strategise in ways I know how to get myself there. That concept is sometimes applied on men or in the pursuit of love, and it included a sharp drop at the end.

Friends have jokingly said I was desperate. Maybe I am. But I don’t see it as that, I see it as taking charge of what you want. If you put food before a hungry person, he or she will go up to it and take it. If you want love or men, you go up and take it. Of course this all goes back to how much you weigh on what you want and how important it is to you. There’s no lying I wish to be in relationship, to share what little or much I’ve with someone. It’s difficult to explain why. I just want it. It’s primitive and innate.

I’m done feeling ashamed of myself how much I desire a partner.

Oh well. *exhales*

I'm such a woman

Fri, 27 Jul 2012 12:26:51 +0800

I get emotional when I’m tired.

This might not make sense to many

Tue, 05 Jun 2012 15:26:00 +0800

but on Sunday I was out with a male friend and he wanted my opinion as he was seriously considering putting down good money for a CK blazer. He tried three cuts on and each looked rather ravishing, what with the slim cut, shorter lengths and discreet designs, except some very distracting lines at the stomach. However what threw me off was that for one particular jacket, he buttoned the last button and he wasn’t trying a double-breasted jacket.

I came from two very different consciousnesses: First, the school of buttoning as many buttons as I wanted on my jacket to second, please don’t even try buttoning that last one. So I knew to do it subtly. I casually suggested he don’t button the last button without explaining why because nobody wants a smart ass with him in the changing room. It didn’t work and might have even backfired.

1) He buttoned both.

2) He buttoned only the last.

IMAGINE THE HORRORS GOING THROUGH MY HEAD. As expected, I spent the rest of his fitting session consistently bothered by the last buttoned button and willed myself to peel my eyes away. I finally recovered from the trauma and got to thinking today why it even mattered to me. Just because I internet-studied it?

3 reasons why you do not button your last suit jacket button

1. Jackets/blazers/suits were designed to flare out at the hip. Buttoning the last button narrows the wearer’s silhouette into a cylinder.

2. Back when jackets/blazers/suits were designed, men rode on horses and it would look wildly off and odd if the last button was buttoned as it won’t allow item of clothing to rest elegantly and naturally on wearer once rider is on the animal.

3. People tell you not to.

Generally people don’t button their last buttons if you observe around but you get two camps of people who do so.

1. The ignorant and unaware

2. Those who are aware but do it anyway - to make a statement. Note Jil Sander FW 2011 (middle guy).

I feel if you were unaware, you must know why this unwritten rule has been practised. This is to help you to decide if:

1. You feel the reasoning is bull and therefore you reject it

2. You agree and shall practise similar too

So if one day you decide to rebel against it, you can make a proud statement along the lines of: “I reject a silhouette that flares out at my waist as it doesn’t complement my inner self. I feel a boxy silhouette represents who I am better.”

It's understandably hazy

Tue, 08 May 2012 15:12:00 +0800

after a party weekend and their words fade as I intentionally turn up the volume of Faithless’ Tweak Your Nipples (Tiesto Remix). I register what you say but I honestly am willing myself to feel nothing about it - except to give you what you want - so I can continue to bury myself in the song.

I don't know at which point

Tue, 01 May 2012 05:16:49 +0800

I taught myself to not like a certain person - if he was too good-looking, hung out with the cool crowd, had previous partners unlike me, or had a better physique or brain than I have. When did I learn to limit who I can like? And why did I learn it for? To protect myself?

I bought lube

Thu, 19 Apr 2012 16:32:00 +0800

because the sellers/makers on Facebook have a remarkable sex reputation. Somewhere in the comments a guy asked if it had been an enjoyable experience producing the lube and the seller/maker replied something to the effect of “it certainly was enjoyable perfecting the formula with my partner (who is also involved in the lube business).” I imagine wild, off-the-hook sex scenes of maker and his partner in deep, mindless thrusts, throbbing and pulsating with lust, and occasionally discussing if the lube had gone dry too quickly. I immediately punched in my card details to order one.